“I’m sorry, but I’m married …”

As I enjoy going out with friends and mingling a lot, I noticed a very interesting trend lately. Some of my single friends will go and chat up some woman they find attractive (and sometimes with success) and if the woman is not interested, she will tend to show them a ring on her finger and tell them that she unfortunately is taken. So far, so good. I was out with some friends of mine. We were just talking and observed some gentleman asking a woman out right of the bat. She showed her ring and politely turned the guy down. Chris ended up talking to this lovely lady later – we all met as part of some group going out, and Chris and she had a longer conversation. After a long conversation, lots of laughter she excused herself for a minute. Once she came back from the bathroom, her ring was gone. He didn’t notice it at first, but as she suddenly became a lot more flirty, he asked her about it straight up. Her answer: “It’s a fake ring. Just to keep guys in bars from hitting on me.” They talked for a bit more about this and that, and she started hinting more and more that she would be very interested in going on a date with Chris. He thought about it, and walked away. Chris told me later that he just does not like to date woman that lie; trust and honesty are important to him. His reasoning was that if she is willing to lie (or: use little “white lies”) right from the start, how can one expect that it does not get worse over time? What if she uses little white lies to get out of every situation she does not want to be in?

What do we learn from this? A fake wedding ring might keep all the drunk loosers away, but will possibly confuse or scare off Mr. Right when he comes along. I’ve heard similar stories from a couple of other guys; it just does not go over well.

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